Day 15 - Tammyism

Though my life is certainly not the most interesting, some interesting, ridiculous things seem to happen to me when my mom enters a room.  In my last post I'd said that I was going to do a post revolving around my mother and what we call her "Tammyisms," Tammy being her name.  They are the most ridiculous things but they are rather comical!

Debit Machine Madness
Using a debit machine may come as second nature to some people, but not for my mother, oh no.  One day she ventured to Wal*Mart to do some shopping.  Once she decided one what she was going to buy she made her way to the cashiers and proceeded to pay with her debit card.  After several attempts trying to swipe her card the wrong way, (the strip was pointing the opposite to what it should have been,) the cashier tried to direct her by telling her to "turn it around."  So my mother, being the blonde little midget genius that she is, decided to pick up and move the whole debit machine a quarter turn to her left, and swiped the card the same way. 

Lube and Vodka
My mother was always the type of parent that as I grew older, acknowledged that I was going to drink whether or not she approved.  So she had a policy that required me in the house if I was going to drink.  SO -- on the day before my 19th birthday I figured it would be a good night to have some drinks.  I had to work until 1AM, so my mom took my order, a quart of vodka, and my boyfriend Josh and ventured into the liqour store.  After buying the liqour and handing it to Josh and carry, they wandered into the Superstore (grocery store) and my dearest mother decided she needed to buy some lube for her and her husband.  Once getting to the counter and realizing how insane it looked that my 40 year old mother and at the time an 18 year old kid were purchasing some alcohol and lube together, she very nonchalantly told the cashier that it was going to be a great night, paid, and left the store.

China Man
You have to know my mother to understand what these Tammyism's are.  She does these things without thinking and totally oblivious to the fact that it could be perceived as something negative.  When I was a child my mother worked at the local nursing home.  One summer day my mom and her friend were outside having a cigarette when a man approached the front of the building, a Chinese man.  As he approached my dear mother pressed her hands together as though she were going to pray, bent over in a bow position and said, "HELL-OY."  After doing this my mothers friend had to give my mother a lesson on why what she said was politically incorrect, and she then died of embarrassment, as she was about to walk back in and be the charge nurse on his relatives wing.
 

Well, I think that about covers it for today.  I think I am going to make this a random topic I choose to use from time to time.  Perhaps on the 3rd day of each month.  There are so many of these things that make me kill myself laughing at her that I would love to share, in hopes someone else will get a chuckle!  I hope everyone is having a fantastic December 4th and stay tuned for some more writing exercises and a new video!

K.F.H
02:09MST